Mmm… Money

Mmmm…I have had so much down time from an unforeseen or would that be unexpected illness that today I wanted to go window shopping! Maybe look at yarn, or hit the thrift store and check out the goodies labeled as one’s man trash, another man’s treasure! I pulled in to the thrift store parking lot knowing I had ten dollars and as I reached for my car door handle I was put under conviction. 

Mmmm…what if you need this money to serve someone with today? It’s only ten in the morning you still have a lot of day time hours to go! Mmm…I only have 6.93 in my checking account, mmm… it sure is a lot of mmm…’s today. Maybe I shouldn’t go in there? I don’t really need anything, I do love to look for Bibles and christian books but I have way too many of both! 

So I put my seat belt back on and head for home! My money isn’t really my money! I know that! It is God’s money, He provides for all my needs and when I need money He really comes through with flying colors! I must confess I don’t like it when He waits till the last minute but I’m getting used to that! (Yes, I know its all in His timing!)

I am a caregiver to two loved ones and I don’t have a paying job. My husband’s job was eliminated over a year ago but thank heavens, whoops, thank God they did not let him go just demoted him and down, down, down went his paycheck! Then up, up, up went the prayers! God knows I can’t get a paying job I need to drive my son who uses a wheelchair to grad school and I am caring for my mother several times a day at the nursing home. So God is fully aware of my needs driving a big van that sucks gas through two straws!

So today I did not window shop anywhere! I kept my ten dollars and mmm…I used it to help someone! So there! Late this afternoon there was a need of food and I took care of it! (not bragging just excited I had the money to do it) The best part is I still have 6.93 in the bank! Who knows! Someone might be hungry tomorrow and I can afford to buy something for them! Bread? Milk? I’m ready! Are you?

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon 

One Good Serve Deserves Another Good Serve!

Yep! I made it out of the house today and I drove my car! I’m not the kind of person that goes, “Whoop! Whoop!” but I found myself at a stoplight with hands in the air going…”whoop, whoop”! The caged bird is free and flying, well at least driving! I’m so VERY grateful to feel better! I think I appreciate my good health so much more when I don’t have it! Its so scary and frustrating to be sick and you can’t stop the sickness! Ugh! 

Today I actually got to serve some precious people today! I drove my son to his girlfriend’s house and dropped him off! (He is in a wheelchair and can’t drive yet!) I fed my mom lunch at the nursing home, I took her to the tv room so I could talk to a man who is trapped in one spot all day! He can talk but refuses too! He says nothing to anyone! It took me over a year to cultivate a relationship with him where he would shake his head yes or no when I ask the right questions! He was sad today, I could see it in his eyes so I took mom in there so I could spend time with him. 

I took the long way out of the nursing home so I could speak to as many people as possible and give hugs to those who always desperately need them. Nursing homes are very lonely places I can’t believe I am going to start my fifth year at this nursing home in April! Four years I have been coming here almost daily! Sometimes I take Sundays off, sometimes I take a Saturday off but here I am, here all the time! I have been serving people, residents, cna’s, nurses, and other staff at this place for a very long time! I was serving before I really had a grasp on what serving is all about!  

I cannot wait for tomorrow! 😀

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

 

 

Serving Is Optional!

That’s not true! Serving isn’t optional! Serving is necessary! Serving is required! Serving is part of what Christ calls us to do! That’s all I have been thinking about for the past few days while resting on my weary, worn out couch! Why does an illness have to take so much out of me! Sixteen degree weather has made it impossible to breathe outside and my thoughts keep racing to, “Will I ever recover enough to begin my new year of serving?” mmmm…so I lay on the couch trying to will my body in to perfect health while I ponder thoughts of serving. 

If a person is naturally selfish then serving must be really difficult for them, but if a person is naturally self serving then it must be easier to serve others. I have thought the past few days about me, I think I am basically a good person and giving to others comes easily most of the time, but sometimes I want to be selfish, a little greedy! Was Jesus ever like that? I doubt it! What is it like to be good A-L-L the time? It must be hard to do! But then Jesus is God so I guess it comes naturally. 

I have been physically weak and I have secretly wanted someone to take care of me. Is that selfish? When I am sick I don’t complain, or whine, or announce how I am doing today. I just quietly keep to myself and deal with my symptoms. I wasn’t able to sit at my computer and I thought if someone could type for me then I wouldn’t miss a day on my blog but I knew that was unreasonable! So I resigned myself to the fact I am not perfect and if chills and more chills keep me from moving off the couch then so be it! 

Moms are supposed to be invincible but I haven’t felt invincible at all for the past few weeks. I could barely move and was so weak but I took one look at my son’s girlfriend on the couch on new year’s eve, tired, possibly grumpy, and not wanting to drive herself home. So what do I do? I open my mouth and offer to drive her home and go back and pick her up the next morning! I sometimes think I am a complete nut case! I am so weak and I can barely move and I offer to drive this twenty something girl home! Go figure! Even in illness I can’t help myself I just want to take care of her needs! 

She takes me up on the offer and when I hit the on ramp for the interstate I pray to God to just give me the strength to make it there and back home again! Even worse! When I pull in the driveway she wants me to go in with her because her roommates are not home and she is spooked! I get inside and I wanted to lay down on that couch and take a nap before I drove home was all I could think about while this precious child checked out the house! It seemed like an eternity that I sat there pretending to be ok while she talked and inspected rooms and closets and then decided I could go home she was fine! I said the perfunctory “are you sure” and hoped she would say yes and she did! I quickly rushed to my car and headed for the on ramp! I made it home thinking how could you put yourself in that position, you are shaking from head to to toe! I don’t know, I thought, maybe its just the mother thing that drives me to do this! 

Well…maybe serving is just necessary and not optional even when you are sick.

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

To Serve Or Not To Serve!

That is A valid question! To serve or not to serve? How often do you serve people? Do you let your needs come first? Or do you let others needs come first? That is A valid question? I could just say, “What would Jesus do?” I think Jesus would put the needs of others first always. I think I am going to try to put the needs of others before my own. I am feeling much stronger since my unexpected debilitating December illness which spilled over in to the new year causing all my grandiose plans to be put on hold or canceled!  

I have decided to call my year of learning all about the word serve, “The Ministry of Service” I am going to keep a log of everything I do for people not so much to brag or say, see what I have done, but to use it as a learning tool for my future reference and to teach others as well! At least that is what I am hoping for! Because I believe the word sacrifice goes hand in hand with the word serve and I hope by keeping a journal of my service that I can see how I had to sacrifice in some situations! It seems to me that in our society everything you read, see, or hear is always about me, me, me! I come first! I deserve it! I can have it! It is all about selfishness! Jesus was never about me, me, me! He was always about you, you, you! I want to make it about you! Not me! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

To Serve Means To Tell The Truth

Lessons learned. Tonight on the phone I had to tell the truth. I didn’t want to do it on the phone but I had no choice. Someone I started serving in 2013 was being a bully and mean to me on too many occasions! I wanted to tell her about it but the opportunity would never present itself so I opted to tell her a small portion on the phone because she had bullied someone else and they did confront her. So I HAD  to share a little bit with her. I made her cry. Ugh! I told her we had many things to talk about and I wanted to be in her presence so I could hug her if it was needed. She thanked me for not holding it against her and being merciful with her. That caught me off guard! No one has ever thanked me for being merciful! Wow! Well I do love her and she is a friend she used to be my best friend but she dumped me for someone else and I recovered from it and moved on! When I think about it I gave her more than just mercy in that situation! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

Feeling Better!

Yay! I’m feeling better! I only slept two hours total all day! That’s better than the six to eleven hours I have been sleeping! Maybe tomorrow I can leave my house! Ten days of sickness has left me a bit stir crazy! I spent today walking around the house until I got tired and then I sat for most of the day! I don’t want to over do it! I am still coughing up everything I eat but hopefully that will be gone soon too! 

I also spent today thinking about how I served people in 2013 and the lessons I learned. I did learn many things about serving last year but I feel like I only touched the surface. I feel like I have only begun to understand what a life of service is. I know it requires sacrifice and putting others first. I did a lot of that last year and I plan on doing more this year. Serving involves many emotions and I plan to explore that too! I had a lot of pain from serving some people because I trusted them and then they hurt me deeply! That really was some amazing lessons I learned in how serving can catch you off guard and cause you to winch from the surprise attacks! I’m too weak to talk about it tonight but perhaps I can in the next few days! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

Whoops! Resolutions! I Forgot!

My goodness! I have been very busy with this illness that I never gave a thought to New Year’s Resolutions! I usually make one or two but never more than five because that just sets you up for failure! I mean really, who can keep track of five or more new and positive things to change in one’s life!  (I don’t think I have ever met anyone who kept a resolution!) The longest I have ever kept one was in 2012! I decided to read the Bible every day and I made it to the end of June! That was very impressive for me because I have never made it out of January in keeping any resolutions, well…actually I don’t think I have ever made it out of the first week of January in trying to keep one!

I don’t think I am going to make any this year because I have put my focus on Christ and the one word I hope to learn from this year! I plan on growing, changing, and making myself into a new and improved person with the challenge of giving my life to serve others! All kinds of others! (laughing!) Others include old people, young people, purple people, yellow people, hurting people, well you know! ALL KINDS OF OTHERS! No discriminating! It drives me insane when a well dressed person gets treated better than a not so well dressed person! I WANT TO SERVE OTHERS EQUALLY! Just in case you are reading this for the first time, I picked the word, SERVE as the word I want to learn the most about this year! 

Here’s the scripture I read today and I think I will start collecting scriptures that are about serve or serving.

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

3. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

4. not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I started to dabble in serving others in the last five months of 2013 and I had not scratched the surface so I am excited about what I will learn this year! I will share some of those learning experiences later! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

 

All Is Not Well

It is really tough being sick! It is January 2nd and I have not been to the gym, have not been to the nursing home to care for my mother, I have not been out of my house for many, many days! It started with what I thought was a sinus infection around December 5th or 6th and has been relentless in driving me crazy! On December 25th I woke up with a massive, painful sore throat and has steadily progressed in to even more symptoms! I feel like I have almost coughed up most of my internal organs and the amount of mucus could easily fill a large salad bowl! (sorry for that yucky description) I had hoped I would start feeling better today but after 11 and 1/2 hours of sleep I awoke to wheezing that could be heard across the room! I still could not hold my head up for very long and assumed the fetal position once again. 

It is freaky that I am starting the new year off with an illness instead of the gung-ho attitude I had wanted to start with! I can barely hold my head up to write and I have been trying all day to do this! Well its all good! Tomorrow is another day! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

 

 

 

 

 

One Amazing Word!

It’s here! January 1, 2014! I survived another year! But this new year is really going to be different than the last one! I’m getting better at being under “spiritual attack” and my self esteem is no longer in small amounts! I have a bucket full now! Not bragging or anything but just totally amazed that it has happened to me! 

I know that 2014 is going to be the most awesome year ever! I have been praying for 2014 since around June of 2013! I also prayed that anyone who is involved with me will be affected with change also! I really want it to be a year of giving God all the glory, honor, and praise! Watch out! I’m coming through!

So I saw this book called “My One Word’. I read the back cover and it said to choose one word that represents what you most hope God will do in you and focus on that for a year. I didn’t have the money at the time to buy the book but will purchase it before the end of the month. (I will be so thankful when this illness I’m dealing with goes away! I can only hold my head up for about twenty minutes then its back to the couch to sleep some more!) So I became obsessed thinking about one word, what word? What word would I choose? I prayed, I thought, I thunk, I thinked, I did everything you can imagine trying to figure out what word and yes I prayed some more! I have let several months go by and before I knew it, there it was…the end of the year has arrived! So I figured now was a very good time to make a decision! What WAS my word going to be? Well….here it is…!

                                                                             SERVE

Yep! That is it! I thought about servant, service, but serve it is! I started to learn about serving others in 2013 and I feel like I have only scratched the surface. Jesus served others. We are to die to ourselves and put others first. I read that somewhere! But this scripture sums up what I think I am ready to embark on! A life of service to others! A life of serving Jesus!

 

John 12:26 (NIV)

26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

Here is another translation I like also!

John 12:26 (MSG)

26 “If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you’ll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment’s notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me.

The Message translation says to be ready to serve at a moment’s notice. I think that is the way it should be when you are a christian, to be ready at any given moment to serve God and to serve the needs of others! I think there is much I can learn about the word serve in my life. I can learn to serve others and I can learn to serve God! Are they not the same? I guess this year will be the year to seek God’s face through serving! 

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon

 

A Life Changing Morning Moment

I remember January 1, 2012. I wanted to spend more time learning about God and His Word. It was a difficult year for me. I wanted to give up many, many times. I was not familiar with two specific words at the time, they were words I had N-E-V-E-R heard before! “spiritual attack”

I have since learned that when you desire a closer relationship with our Creator, Satan wants  you to have absolutely no part of that! He will do everything to slow you down, frustrate you, make you feel inferior, and put so many obstacles in your pathway to trip you up and make you FALL DOWN HARD! For me falling hard really wasn’t necessary! Just a simple fall sent me tumbling in despair! When you have only small amounts of self-esteem it doesn’t take much to trip you up!

I remember one morning I was reading from my iPhone using The Bible App.  I read Jeremiah 29: 11-13.  I was still in bed, the first thing it said was, “For I know the plans I have for you…”  W-H-O-A! Hey now! God knows the plans He has for me?  I really liked that! I really liked what all three scriptures had to say!

When a quote or a scripture hits me in a good way I like to write it down and frame it and put it in my office on the wall or somewhere so I can see it everyday! I was still in bed when I decided I needed to put this in my bedroom because I wanted to read this every morning as a reminder that God has plans for me! I was so excited! I decided I couldn’t wait to frame this I had to have this now! RIGHT NOW! I jumped out of bed and walked across to the door from my bedroom door in to my office and I knew I had a new magic marker in the top left drawer. I fished around until I found it and I just happen to have a small step stool in my bedroom to stand on and I decided right in that moment I WAS going to write on my bedroom wall! It’s MY bedroom! I own this home! I can write on the wall if I want too! RIGHT? I thought to myself! Well…this IS the wall on my half of the bedroom! So I just did it!

I stood on that step stool and started writing, copying from The Bible App and when I got to verse 12 where it said, I will listen to you,  I underlined it! No one listened to me! NO ONE! There were many people in my home but no one listened to me, no one cared what I said! Even my own husband did not listen to me! I would talk to him and he said he was listening to me but the very next day he could not remember what I had said! How sad it was to be lonely in your own home! When I was done writing the scriptures on the wall I decided to put the date and then I decided to put the time I had completed writing them down! I had no idea how important that would be to me in my future!

Now here it is the year 2014 is bearing down on me and I am starting another chapter in my life! So much has happened to me since I read that scripture in bed on my smart phone!

So much more I am looking forward to is about to develop right before my eyes!

Join me? Will you?

I need people praying for me! People supporting me! People loving me! People teaching me!

I want to walk where you have walked! I want to walk where I have never walked before! I want others to walk where I have walked! I want to make sure that God gets all the glory, and honor, and praise!

I have butterflies in my tummy! I just imagine that they are pretty pastel colors tickling me and reminding me I am on a journey I will never forget or would that be never regret?

Thanks for the prayers and thanks for listening!

Sharon